Hey Harrison, You did a great job of describing the snake, awesome use of descriptive language and detailed vocabulary. I think that you could've added more facts and information about the mum and why she hated snakes. Like, what is her name? Explain a bit more about her. Why does she hate snakes? she fears them because of how deadly they are?
Hi Harrison, nice piece of writing. It was cool because it wasn't a normal snake - it was a mega snake! You just need to change the word is to was in the last line. Where did the snake come from?
Hi Harrison, I like all the adjectives because they make the piece of writing more interesting. Also there are only two characters. I have written a piece of writing that only has two characters as well. That mega snake sounds scary.
Hi Harrison, that is a very cool story. I like how you made it interesting. The snakes had three heads, that is so amazing. I am also writing a story but it has zombies in it. Are you going to write another story?
Hi, that is a very cool story. I like how you use punctuation and I like how you described the snake. I like that snake because it has 3 heads. Are you going to make another story?
Hey Harrison, You did a great job of describing the snake, awesome use of descriptive language and detailed vocabulary. I think that you could've added more facts and information about the mum and why she hated snakes. Like, what is her name? Explain a bit more about her. Why does she hate snakes? she fears them because of how deadly they are?
ReplyDeleteHi Harrison, I like that your spelling was correct. I think you missed a full stop at the end. How did the snake escape?
ReplyDeleteHi Harrison, nice piece of writing. It was cool because it wasn't a normal snake - it was a mega snake! You just need to change the word is to was in the last line. Where did the snake come from?
ReplyDeleteHi Harrison, I like all the adjectives because they make the piece of writing more interesting. Also there are only two characters. I have written a piece of writing that only has two characters as well. That mega snake sounds scary.
ReplyDeleteHi Harrison, that is a very cool story. I like how you made it interesting. The snakes had three heads, that is so amazing. I am also writing a story but it has zombies in it. Are you going to write another story?
ReplyDeleteHi, that is a very cool story. I like how you use punctuation and I like how you described the snake. I like that snake because it has 3 heads. Are you going to make another story?
ReplyDeleteBonjour Harrison, I like the way you used lots of detail. I'm also scared of snakes. What was your favourite part about writing. From: Brodie
ReplyDeleteBonjour Harrison,
ReplyDeleteI like the way you used lots of details . I'm also scared of snakes. What was your favourite part about your writing?
From Brodie
Hello Harrison.I like your picture about the snake.I know that snakes can bite.I like a cheater From Callum
ReplyDelete